Inspiration to me

I’m about to leave for work and decided to blog about an epiphany I just had.

Here I am, sitting in my bedroom shopping online and looking at bathing suits for Spring Break. I’m also looking at Coach purses and decided on which one I want to purchase to be my carry on for when I go to Paris this semester. I look at the clock and realized I’ll be late for work if I don’t get off of my computer. Work? Right now? I have more important things to do right now. Then I realized what I’m about to go to is in fact, much more important that anything I would be doing on the computer right now.

Every Sunday, I work from 12-6 in a wonderful woman’s home who I help take care of. She was diagnosed with Stage-3 Kidney Failure last year is has rapidly declining health. This woman is bedridden and hasn’t stepped out to soak up the sunlight or feel the breeze of the wind in over a year. I assist this woman with the upkeep of her home, I prepare her meals and I assist her in changing her colostomy bag and emptying her catheter.

When I first started working with this woman it was much more of a chore than a joy. I’ve gotten to know this woman over the course of the last few months and have learned to love her. Here I am, sitting on my laptop about to embark on the luxury of standing on my own two feet, stepping outside and feeling the weather, driving a car, stopping for lunch and overall living my life. This woman has stopped living. She isn’t the inspirational, mark everything off my bucket list kind of dying woman. She has accepted the fact that she is dying but is saddened by it. She hurts and longs for the simple pleasures in life that I take for granted every single day.

So for 6 hours today, I’m going to put my first-world problems behind me and spend time with a wonderful woman who only has a short time left on this world and walk her though the past week of my life–she lives vicariously through her staff. I’m going to tell her about what’s going on with the outside world. I’ll share the news with her and tell her about the weather today.

But before all that, I’m going to tell her what a joy she has been in my life. I’m going to tell her that I love her and tell her how inspirational she has been to me. I’m going to share with her that she’s at least touched one life in the short time she’s been on this Earth. I’m going to tell her that I’ll be here until the end and that I’m not sad. I’m going to tell her that one day we’ll see each other again and we’ll talk about this conversation.

She’ll probably laugh and tell me that she loves me too. She’ll probably say a funny joke to lighten the mood or change the subject. But we’ll both cherish the time we’ve spent together and take it to our graves.

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